You won’t want to hear this, but the truth is that you need to cut yourself off.
This is saying something coming from me. The fact that I’ve finally accepted this truth is a big deal, seeing as how I’m the queen of staying friends with my exes, and the biggest opposition to going ‘cold turkey’ that there is.
Nevertheless, I’ve finally accepted it. Sometimes it needs to be done.
And if you’re going through a breakup, or simply stuck in a toxic relationship whose time has run its course, you need to accept it too.
With love there are often unpleasant pills we have to swallow. If we don’t, we usually doom ourselves to waste precious time doing this weird, unhealthy dance with our off again, on again person. It’s bad for both of you.
You go back and forth over and over again because you’re both afraid to let go and move on. It’s human, and it’s understandable. But what is not understandable is when you are putting that fear in front of your self-worth and self-love. That’s when you’ve started to lose yourself for someone else, and that’s not healthy, nor is it love.
It’s wrong for so many reasons, and the sad truth is that your person probably can sense you don’t value yourself, which will inherently cause them to value you less as well. Their respect for you, if it was ever there, will diminish.
It’s hard, but you’re strong. You can do this. And you will come out even stronger at the end of the tunnel. You’ll emerge a better person.
All you have to do is get past that first difficult hump. Getting used to not talking to your person. Embracing that void they will leave in your life. That’s always the hardest part. And after that, it’s simply maintaining.
You’ll have to fill the void with other things. There is an art to making this otherwise rocky and painful process a lot smoother.
Keep yourself extremely busy, if you can. The less time you have to think, the better off you’ll be.
DO NOT do the whole social media stalking thing. It’s literally self-sabotage. Block them, if you need to.
Above all else: love yourself. Be gentle, patient, and kind with yourself. It’s the only way you will make it through the breakup successfully. We often underestimate the power of our own love for ourselves, and we rarely do it the way we should.
Don’t be harsh or judgmental with your inner voice towards your thoughts and feelings. The best way to get those to quiet down is to actually acknowledge them and embrace them kindly. Eventually, they’ll go away.
It’s actually a meditation method, and it works when practiced consistently. Your ego just wants attention, at the end of the day.
Stay positive, too. Remind yourself that other doors are allowed to open once this door finally closes like it was always meant to. You never know what’s waiting around the corner. Make space for better things to come into your life.